1. I resent my replacement for having it much easier than I did
I previously worked in a receptionist and admin position at a law firm. I was incorrectly promised there would be very few public-facing duties, and I was given several additional administrative tasks that ranged from simple but time-consuming to complex and very time-consuming. My workload was constantly interrupted by walk-ins, paperwork procedures changed frequently, and I was often asked to drop everything to help handle a staff member’s sudden crisis. I did all of this with no support, even when I asked for help. Training was a poorly executed two-day crash course, and any questions I asked were met with frustration and derision. Eventually, it became clear to my managers that I was struggling to meet metrics. No one ever examined my workload, the firm owner just reassigned it all to different people and put me on a new team with one task to my name — fine by me, I excelled at a focused task with clear goals and instructions.
A new receptionist was hired … and given less than a fraction of the workload that I was expected to manage. I’ve watched her stretch out tasks that I was expected to handle in 20 minutes or less into an all-day affair. If she doesn’t want to learn how to do something correctly, she does it incorrectly and feigns complete ignorance when someone else has to clean up the error. She’s rude to the public, passive-aggressive to other staff members, bossy, fussy, and demands constant support and baby-sitting and shift covers. For some reason, she has become the firm owner’s favorite. She’s gotten every single form of support she has asked for and more, has been allowed to manipulate everyone else’s schedules, and has dipped out of her position early so frequently that she eventually requested that we change the entire schedule in order close the office early … which was granted. We all have to dance to her tune because the firm owner follows behind to order everyone to play nice and follow along.
Maybe I’m petty. I’m just seething at how unfair it is that I asked for support and got zero while my replacement has gotten the princess treatment. I don’t want to hate her, but my blood pressure ticks up any time I receive an imperiously worded @ all email demanding the rest of the admin team drop everything and jump to her aid. How do I get over my resentment towards my replacement when I resent literally everything she does?
She’s not the issue; your management is a much better target for your resentment! They’re the ones who mismanaged you and are now mismanaging her — in two very different ways, but the common denominator is that they suck at managing.
Who knows why they’re so lenient with her. Maybe the firm owner has taken a personal liking to her, maybe she’s his cousin’s daughter, maybe she’s blackmailing him over some terrible secret, maybe there’s something about your personality that didn’t mesh well with his while hers does … who knows. (For what it’s worth, I’d bet someone around you who’s been there a long time and is plugged into the firm dynamics knows what’s going on, so you might find out at some point.)
The question, really, is: knowing what you know about the flawed management above you, can you find a way to make peace with the situation and stay or will it keep eating you up? That doesn’t mean you can’t be annoyed — being annoyed is warranted — but ultimately you should see it for what it is, and it’s far more of a problem above her than with the new receptionist herself.
2. Can anything be done about the office Loud Man?
No one wants to sit near the Loud Man in our office. He has a booming voice in a timbre that cuts through space and time. He can literally be heard on the other end of phone calls through layers of walls and closed office doors. It is truly a phenomenon.
We’re moving buildings in a couple of months, and I have a part in the seating chart (though not in the layout or specs). MANY people have reached out asking not to be seated anywhere near the Loud Man. However, there is no office on the floorplan that is more secluded than any other.
Our facilities team has stated that soundproofing his office is not an option.
What can be done?! Is this an HR issue? Can he be told to pipe down? It is probably worth noting that he is an Important Loud Man.
I’m skeptical that soundproofing his office is logistically impossible; if someone high enough up asked for it, it’s likely that it could happen. It shouldn’t be the facilities team’s call on their own.
So the question is whether someone sufficiently senior will make that call, or if there’s someone influential enough to convince someone senior to do that. If no one will do that, then you’re all probably stuck with this.
In theory he could be told to be quieter but (a) that’s probably not going to happen if he’s Important, and (b) even if it did, it probably wouldn’t work — loud talkers have a really hard time sustaining a lower volume long-term unless they get repeated reminders, which probably isn’t going to happen (see point A).
3. How do you know when it’s time to leave?
I’ve been at my job in government. for 10 years. The workload has been intense for this entire time, but it was manageable until there was an upper management shakeup in my division a few years ago that has really left a bad taste in my section, and morale is pretty shot.
I’m on special assignment in my section to a program that is doing work different but related to my section’s actual duties. The program manager changed a year ago to someone who I love dearly, but who isn’t suited for the position. They added a new level of management over them, and the PM keeps giving away their decisions to the new executive manager, prompting a few of us to just start going around to the executive manager to keep things moving. In addition, there’s rumor my specific program is getting reorged, and going back into the previous team, given the current workload, is not ideal for my stress and overwhelm levels.
I’m applying for a job that locally that is still within the retirement system, and the job description isn’t as appealing to me as my current job, but I’d be saving eight hours a week in commute time (and I could walk! and I’m helping my local community!). Obviously, there’s a lot of steps between now and theoretically being offered the job, but it’s really got me thinking — how do you know when it’s time vs when to push through the tough times and wait for them to change, as they inevitably will?
I don’t think you ever really have to push through the tough times if you have better options! This isn’t a marriage; it’s a job. If you’re not getting what you want from it anymore and you have other options, you can just … take those options.
That’s particularly true when you’ve been there 10 years. If you’re jumping around from job to job every year just because something else looks better, eventually that’s going to make it harder to get the jobs you really want. But when you’ve been somewhere 10 years, there’s no reason not to move on if you’re not happy where you are, even if you think that might change in a year or two. The exception would be something like a situation where your job provided a hard-to-find benefit that was really important to you, and where you had good reason to believe that sticking out a hard time for a year or so would eventually return you to a more manageable set-up. But if the current job doesn’t have something that’s both hard-to-find and important to you … you can just move on if you want to.
4. How explain to work contacts that I’m in the midst of several problems at once
I work freelance and pride myself on good communication with my 10 or so clients. I let them know how things are coming on projects, am early on deadlines, and I’m a delight to have in class. That kind of energy.
Last week, I flagged with my clients that I would be out Thursday and Friday of the following week for a funeral. Everyone shared their condolences. I rearranged my working hours to still hit my deadlines. All was well. But then over the weekend, my husband ended up in the hospital needing surgery, so I had to send follow-up emails to my clients saying, essentially, whoops, another drama has occurred! Need more time for things because I’m also losing Monday and Tuesday next week due to an emergency.
Last year, I dealt with a similar one-two punch of problems (including being impacted by a natural disaster) and felt like my communication with my boss about it was a bit of an overly emotional mess.
I know this very much sounds not work-related, but it is, I promise. How do you tell clients (and potential future full-time bosses), “Hey, I know I flagged Disaster 1 with you, but unfortunately, a new bombshell has entered the villa. Here’s where all the projects are and my projected end dates for them — does that work?” without sounding like you’re the shrimp from Shark Tale? How do you handle professional emails where you’ve flagged one problem, but a second problem has suddenly manifested?
You just say it matter-of-factly and straightforwardly; you don’t need to pad it with justifications or explanations. Depending on the relationship, it might be better not to give details at all. In a lot of client relationships, for example, you’d just say, “Apologies, I’m not going to be back at work until Wednesday” without getting into the fact that a second thing has been added to the mix. The relationship isn’t close enough for anything more to be needed, so you just focus on the “what it means for them” piece. With a closer contact, like a boss, it will often make sense to explain but you can keep it pretty bare-bones — “X has happened and I’ll need Y.”
5. Could going into the office more often hurt my accommodation?
I have an ADA accommodation for two regular telework days per week plus more as needed based on my symptoms. I’ve so far been going in on meeting-heavy days (which are my noted in-office days), but I’m realizing there’s potential for better collaboration if I go in more. I’m considering adding a day or two here and there based on if I feel up to it, or possibly doing partial in-office/home split days (my commute is part of what bothers my condition and it’s much easier if it’s not rush hour), but I’m worried if I show up more when I can they’ll expect me more even when I can’t. Can they change my accommodation if it looks like I don’t need it as much? My condition is also partly seasonal, so right now I’m feeling good but come November I might need more days at home.
Since your accommodation includes “as needed,” it should be fine. But you can also proactively manage expectations with your boss by saying something like, “I’m having a good stretch right now but my symptoms are often seasonal and flare up in the fall, so I’m doing more in-office days now with the expectation that I’ll probably have fewer later in the year.”
Also, if your employer did want to change your accommodation, they can’t just unilaterally do that based on this; they’d need to formally initiate the interactive process again, at which point you can provide documentation from your doctor confirming that the underlying medical condition is variable and the “as needed” safety net remains necessary.