Figuring out which individuals will make the guest list is a notoriously tough pre-wedding task for many to-be-weds. According to a heated post on Reddit’s “Wedding” subreddit on December 9, 2024, one couple was firm about capping their nuptials at 75 guests. Months after they finalized their list and sent out their save-the-dates, though, the mother of the groom took it upon herself to invite relatives to the affair—even though she denied the future newlyweds’ request to add her recommendations well before they completed their list.
Key Takeaways
- The groom asked his mom if she had anyone she wanted to add to the guest list for his summer 2025 wedding before sending the save-the-dates, but she declined.
- A few months later, the mother of the groom insisted that the couple invite the groom’s stepfather’s relatives and his aunt who is “wickedly cruel” to him.
- Even though the groom repeatedly shut down his mom’s last-minute request, she took it upon herself to invite her aunt’s son.
- The bride took to Reddit, wondering how to handle the situation if random people show up to her wedding and how to diffuse the conflict with her future mother-in-law at their upcoming holiday party.
- The internet shared many helpful suggestions, such as informing those on social media about the incident, hiring a security guard at their wedding, and reaffirming their boundaries.
Beginning her rant, the bride-to-be noted that after a four-year-long engagement, she and her future husband started making arrangements for their summer 2025 wedding. Taking their budget and venue into account, they decided that a 75-person guest list would work best for their affair. Right before they mailed their save-the-dates, the couple asked their respective parents if they wanted to invite anyone in particular to the wedding. The groom’s mother told the duo, according to the bride, “absolutely not I wouldn’t want to impose, it’s your day invite who you want.” The groom asked once again, but she proceeded to decline the offer. The couple decided to invite some of her relatives and friends anyway.
A month after sending out their save-the-dates, the groom’s mother texted her son, wondering if certain relatives of her husband’s, the groom’s stepfather’s, were invited. None of them were. So, the bride’s future mother-in-law insisted that they invite the group—including a family member they barely know and the groom’s aunt who is “wickedly cruel” to him—because it’s “the right thing to do,” the mother told her son.
The groom decided to give his mom a call to explain the rationale behind his guest list. According to the Reddit post, he told his mother that everyone who received a save-the-date has a personal relationship with him and/or the bride, so he won’t be inviting anyone out of “obligation.” The groom’s mom immediately dropped her case about inviting the seven people from her husband’s side of the family, but she spent the next hour trying to convince her son that her brother and his wife deserve a spot on their guest list—even though they discussed the situation months before.
The groom stood firm in his decision, but his mom tried every attempt to change his mind. She threatened her son, saying, “if he doesn’t listen to her motherly advice and invite them then he will live a life full of regret and face real serious consequences that are not able to be fixed,” the Redditor recapped. The mother of the groom also said statements like, “well its just your first wedding I don’t see the big deal to invite people you don’t like,” the post paraphrased. The groom ignored his mother’s attempts to persuade him, restated his boundary, and hung up.
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Earlier this month, the couple found out that the groom’s mom invited her aunt’s son (whom the bride and groom have never met) to their nuptials and that he’s already booked his flight. “I’m seriously concerned at this point because now, based on this, it seems like she is inviting people to our wedding,” the distressed bride wrote. “Clearly we won’t be sending them invites and they won’t have a plate or seat at our wedding. I don’t want to deal with random people showing up.” Now, with a family Christmas party fast approaching, the bride is worried that her future mother-in-law may confront her about the dilemma. “I feel so disrespected I’m not sure I’ll be able to stay calm enough to stay polite,” she admitted.
The bride earnestly asked the internet for advice, who provided a handful of helpful suggestions for handling the situation. “I would post on social media what MIL is doing and ‘apologize’ in advance,” the top comment recommended. “That only those who got the official invitation are invited. Then tell MIL she will be barred from the wedding if she keeps acting like this.” Another suggested that the couple alert the venue about the incident, so they can deal with the uninvited guests based on their policy. Some Redditors even encouraged the couple to hire a security guard to turn stragglers away.
Regarding the holiday party, the internet urged the bride to set a boundary with her future mother-in-law if she broaches the topic. “Ignore all comments at the Xmas party or say ‘as we discussed this is the plan and it won’t be changing,’” one person suggested, while another advised the future bride to shut the conversation down immediately, telling her fiancé’s mom “that you’re not going to be discussing it again.” Many applauded the woman’s future husband for standing up to his mom. “All you can do is stay the course you’re on,” a Redditor encouraged her. “Your fiancé has done a great job handling his mom and setting the right boundaries.”