Man Saves Thousands for Engagement Ring, Then Gets Dumped

Despite our best intentions, not every couple makes it down the aisle, and recovering from a breakup—especially when it comes at the end of a committed relationship—looks different for every person. One “heartbroken” man recently turned to Reddit for advice after he was called “disrespectful” for how he coped with his long-term girlfriend breaking up with him just before he had the chance to propose. In a thread titled “AITA for spending money saved for an engagement ring on a tattoo,” the user recounted how he had spent months saving “several thousand” dollars for his girlfriend’s dream engagement ring; sadly, just before he had the chance to purchase that ring and pop the question, she ended the relationship “out of the blue.” Now, he’s wondering if his reaction was acceptable or not.

In his post, the Reddit user explained that he and his former girlfriend had been talking about marriage for some time, going so far as to choose an engagement ring for her and wedding bands for the two of them. Though he didn’t want to get into the details of the breakup, he reiterated the unexpected nature of it as he had been saving for her dream engagement ring for months. “I am by no means well off and arguably live paycheck to paycheck but I manage to always pay my bills, save money, and budget money for fun,” he noted. “After the break up I decided to spend that money on myself. I bought myself my favorite bourbon, a case of my favorite cigars, and finally finish a large tattoo sleeve I’ve been having worked on for two years.”

He began casually dating another woman, who ultimately inquired about where he had found the money to pay for his tattoo. “When I explained to her where this money had come from she got real serious and told me that spending it like that was disrespectful,” he explained. “That I had saved that money for something beautiful and by ‘wasting it’ it proves I never cared about my ex.” Now, the original poster is left wondering if he was in the wrong for spending the money he had spent months saving on himself.

The general consensus from other Reddit users? Absolutely not. “It was your money to spend however you want and I hope that the things you’re spending it on will give you joy and wonderful memories,” one user wrote. In regards to the other woman calling him disrespectful, another user added, “Only disrespect I see here is hers.”

And what do the editors at BRIDES think? We agree that the original poster has every right to spend that money on himself. When a couple breaks up after an engagement, there’s generally some dispute over what happens to the ring—some view this item as a gift and therefore the property of the person who received it; others think that it’s tied to a promise unfulfilled, and should therefore be returned to the purchaser. In this case, however, no ring was bought or exchanged, and the money is the man’s to use however he sees fit.